Monday, February 6, 2012

Winning is the new losing for Presidents

        In November we will either vote for a new President of the United States or we will re-elect our current President. Either way, supporters of the winner will experience a temporary euphoria, similar to the fans of the most recent Super Bowl winners, The New York Giants. And it will be almost as great.
        In the case of the Super Bowl winner, it's great to be a fan. You get to wear the jersey, sweatshirt or hat and all of the fans of the other NFL teams have to go along with the idea that this was your year. You are the champions. You can wear the title proudly. No one will accuse you of being un-American. No one will accuse you of hating poor people. No one will openly discuss how being a NY Giants fan makes you philosophically or intellectually inferior. There will not be any character assassination. You will get to enjoy it. And next year, you get to try to do it all over again.  
        In the case of the next Presidential Election, it's not great to win. It's not great to be a fan of the winner either. And worst of all it's not great for the country, no matter who wins. Your euphoria will last about a week or two (if that long) before political opponents will begin to wear down your joy. As new President, anything and everything that goes on during your administration will be your fault. You will immediately become the butt of jokes. There will be personal attacks on the you. People will spend countless hours exaggerating your smallest flaws in an effort to make you appear stupid, un-American, racist, or just bent on the destruction of the country if your the "winner" or simply supported the winner. 
       There are entire television networks dedicated to this activity. 

       We Americans are funny people. All it takes for most of us to dislike you is for you to become President or a member of Congress. It's an American tradition to tear down our leaders. Now I will agree that in many cases it's our duty to be critical. It makes sense to question authority. It makes a lot of sense to hold people accountable.
       However, we have taken things to a bit of an extreme. These days you don't even really have to do anything wrong or controversial to be ripped to shreds politically. You can just have a different view of things. That's usually enough. It's enough to verbally ripped with unwarranted attacks, unwarranted accusations, and blatant lies. We do it with all of them.
       It's also enough to get you labeled, which is another American tradition. Keep life simple by slapping a label on someone. We throw around labels all the time. Fascist, Communist, Socialist, Liberal, bigot, tree-hugger. Yeah we're good at labeling, even if we're wrong. We like to label. That way we don't have to do the tough work of thinking. If I label you, I no longer have to consider you or your ideas as legitimate.
       What's even worse is that many people might read this and think, "Well, that's just politics. That's how it is.."
Well, that's just another sign that we're losing. When we simply accept inappropriate behaviors in politics and life because "that's just what they do," and neglect to hold them accountable, we lose. 
Why in the world do we suspend values and decency in matters of such importance? Is "that's just what they do" really good enough?
        It is true what they say, people do get the government they deserve.
        Winning isn't great, anymore.....unless you're a Giants fan. 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Politicians Stink at Comedy

  Politicians are not funny. I wish this was enough to stop them from trying to be funny, but sadly it is not. These people regularly fail at telling jokes and often end up offending others while doing themselves significant damage politically. Sometimes they simply tell poor jokes, other times they come across as racially insensitive and stupid. Sometimes they say something or do something because of a human failing and then claim it was a "joke".
Note: If you have to inform us that something you did or said in the past was a joke, you suck at jokes, stop it.
  Recently, the Mayor of East Haven Connecticut, Joseph Maturo, got himself in a little bit of hot water doing this. When asked what he would do for the Hispanic community in light of allegations of police discrimination against the Hispanic community he said, "I might have tacos" for dinner. Okay, first of all, that's not even funny to racists. I asked one. It's just bad politics and bad comedy all rolled into one. So in an attempt to be funny, this guy now is railed on as racially dense and it made his police situation worse. Seriously Joe Joe, stop trying to be funny (and you might want to steer clear of Mexican Restaurants for a while)!
  Herman Cain famously said before dropping out of the race for GOP nomination that, "I would bring a sense of humor to the White House. America's too uptight!"... Well Hermanator, you have to be funny first, and even then, we already have comedians for that. Keep your lame jokes to yourself.
  As we approach a November 2012, you will see and hear many more feeble attempts by candidates to be funny. I suppose one of the reasons they do it, is to get you to like them as "one of the guys" or as so many people said about George W. Bush, "as someone you could have a beer with". 
  These are both dumb ideas. I don't want "one of the guys" running the country, trying to fix the economy, speaking on my behalf with foreign heads of state or being commander-in-chief. 
  "One of the guys" responsibilities should be reserved for "wing-man", picking up the beer, or finding a designated driver.
Guys described in this way typically do really stupid things. As for the economy, "One of the guys", will probably "forget his wallet" again when you go out. I don't want him at the controls with our money. He'll be selling our plasma to buy a six-pack.
"One of the guys", might not shower in the morning. "One of the guys" is definitely "going commando" right now. "One of the guys" might pick a fight with someone just to prove his manliness (Iran here we come). You might find "one of the guys" peeing on a tree in your back yard...and your front yard... and probably your closet. "One of the guys" will definitely light a fart on fire. The list is endless..."One of the guys" should not be President of the United States.
  So candidates and other politicians, spare us your horrible sense of humor. We do not need you to be "one of the guys". Very few of you have the ability to really be funny, anyway.
Leave it to comedians, please! 

Below I give you some samples of comedic WINNERS and the LOSERS:


The former Mayor of Los Alamitos, Dean Grose, sent an e-mail "as a joke" that depicts the White House lawn planted with watermelons, under the title "No Easter egg hunt this year."
Classless and Stupid

Orange County, California, Republican party official Marilyn Davenport sort-of apologized for sending out a racist picture of President Obama depicting him as a chimp being held by his chimp parents: “I’m sorry if my email offended anyone. I simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth.”
More Classless and Even more stupid

Ronald Reagan definitely had some funny moments, but he also had a couple of bad ones.
This one may have been a bit of a mistake---but mostly Reagan got good reaction to jokes

Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden both have told horrible jokes, that are racially or culturally offensive
Joe Biden is virtual treasure trove of wacky and inappropriate stuff.

This was just poor... and who were the idiots laughing?

George W. Bush
As a matter of style, David Letterman pointed out how "W" had an odd joke telling style...

Also, as part of a bizarre comedy skit at the 2004 Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner, Bush showed a series of photos depicting him searching for those elusive WMD's in the White House. Probably not a wise on such a hot subject. 

Romney actually believes that he has the "gift of telling jokes". Really?
"He could never tell a joke. My mom was an aspiring actress and an English major ... so I picked up her gift of telling jokes and I love humor, which I get from her." - Mitt Romney 2005
This guy is so dull, he could combine forces with Al Gore to bore Al Qaeda into submission.

Really Mitt? Really?
John McCain made this joke about Chelsea Clinton at a Republican Dinner back in '98. It might be good to leave kids out of the equation, Big John.  This just makes you look like a jerk.
Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."
President Obama really blew it when he made this really dumb remark on the Tonight Show... WEAK
 ----Special Olympics joke and video


Abe Lincoln
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
Ronald Reagan
“I hope you’re all Republicans.” – Speaking to surgeons as he entered the operating room following a 1981 assassination attempt

"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." --on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins 

Gerald Ford
"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."

My Zimbio
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